running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
