I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize