Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
