Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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