you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize