Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
