I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
