no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
