I can text with my tongue
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
