Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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