Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
