he told me I talked like a deaf person
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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