I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
