I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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