yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
