Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
