There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
