spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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