I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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