so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
