so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
