WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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