she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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