apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
