I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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