At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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