; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
