so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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