Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
