I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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