as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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