I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
