She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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