And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
