Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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