I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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