Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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