Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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