Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
