The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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