Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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