his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
