Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
