You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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