I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
