I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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