Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
