I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
