This girl is more easily done than said...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize