I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
