The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
