i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
