i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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