Yo dont text me then not text me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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