is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Randomize
