hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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