I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
