i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
