Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
